the ex-boyfriend’s favourite recipe funeral committee – saki kawashiro
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Choosing your own path instead of following everyone else is a scary thing. The more we grow older, the more we feel like time is running out. That will probably never change. Even still, I have the power to make myself happy. At least that’s what I want to believe.
*******
“There are people who are in need of that somebody who will come in and track down the regret, loneliness, and insecurities they’ve long buried away. There are times when they need somebody like you, who can break into people’s hearts with the vigor of a warrior brandishing a huge naginata sword.” Hozumi. When you said so… You were trying to tell me something—
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I had thought that a person’s worries were something that could simply be solved through talking to someone. Once you vent, you need to hear someone say that they understand, that they can see how hard it was for you, and that you did your best. You need that bit of support. That’s when you can finally start to feel that maybe you weren’t wrong, that everything you felt was justified.
the ex-boyfriend’s favourite recipe funeral committee – saki kawashiro
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In umeboshi-making, there is a custom known as doyo-boshi, the airing out of umeboshi during the period of “summer doyo,” which starts around July 20th and ends around August 6th every year. It is said that this is the best time for it, as drying the plums under the hot sun after the humidity of the rainy season has passed is the key to making the most delicious and storable umeboshi.
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“There was a magic spell that Matsuko used to say every day when she made the onigiri. Did you ever hear it?”
Kimura, still in the same position, shook his head softly.
“It goes like this,” I said, pressing together an invisible onigiri. “God of Onigiri, please let Yasunari have another day of delicious meals.”
“God of Onigiri? That’s sweet.” Iori chuckled.
“Well, there is that ancient belief that every grain of rice is inhabited by seven gods,” Hozumi said.
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Making sure that all meals are delicious. Enjoying meals with the people I love. Maybe this is what happiness means to me.
the ex-boyfriend’s favourite recipe funeral committee – saki kawashiro
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“When you hold on to things, you hold on to the past. Right now, you’re being dragged back to the past, Momoko.” Hozumi made a very good point.
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“Why don’t you stop acting like the low-maintenance woman? Just this one day—no, this one night.” Makiko turned to look at me. “Once in a while, you’ve got to embarrass yourself and let yourself be the needy, high-maintenance woman.”
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Makiko was simply incapable of being a bystander in any situation. If she could do something about whatever was happening in front of her, she couldn’t ignore it. Whether she’d benefit from it or not was never a concern. If she could help, she would, and she would never forgive herself if she didn’t.
the ex-boyfriend’s favourite recipe funeral committee – saki kawashiro
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“There is so much disconnect between reason and emotion that you’ve broken your mental equilibrium,” Hozumi observed.
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“This was before I joined the temple, when I was working for the trading house. I was going through a difficult time, and I turned to books. I found the words of people who were in the middle of their struggles more meaningful than those of people who had already made it through to the other side of the tunnel.”
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When you’re the one who’s always giving, the one who’s constantly supporting others, you forget that you’re allowed to ask for help. When someone lends you a hand, you feel a sense of guilt. It makes you feel as if you’re being selfish. When guilt becomes an ingrained habit, it’s not easily removed.
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There’s no better feeling than satisfying someone’s food cravings after they’ve made it through a really long day.
the ex-boyfriend’s favourite recipe funeral committee – saki kawashiro
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I wanted to howl and wail and let out every sound I had inside of me with so much intensity that you would be able to actually see the emotions pouring out of my mouth.
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A million could-haves floated above the bed, going round and round in circles all through the night.
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“It’s too late to turn back now; I might as well see it through. Besides,” Iori said with a somewhat lonesome grin, “you need to let your heart break completely when the opportunity arises, or else you’ll lose your chance to heal properly forever.”
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“Anyway, I was saying, in life, we encounter many kinds of suffering, like disease, aging, or having to be with someone you dislike. In Buddhism, these unavoidable sufferings experienced by humans are categorized as shikuhakku, or the four sufferings and eight sufferings.”
[…]
“You’re doing something extraordinary. You’re fighting shikkuhakku. You said that you were going round in circles like an idiot, but there’s no need to beat yourself up like that.”
Ah, she was no good … Whenever someone said this about her, which was often, she refused to believe it.
[…]
People like her were born to die fighting. She had no choice.
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“I guess you learn to sense the footsteps, just before you hear them.”
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“I guess this means we’re going to hell!” she said. “Going? Fuck no!” Shindo hit the gas and yelled over the wind. “This is it!”
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ce rasturnare de situatie! ce scriere atenta tesuta! ce scriitura! ce deznodamant!…
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“ […] And once you and your opponent are lined up, you turn toward one another and bow.”
“See, that’s exactly what I hate about it.”
“Well, I like it. The formality is like a ritual for me. It clears my mind. That’s why etiquette is so important.”
No way in hell was she spending it back at the compound. The yakuza had built themselves a world of bullshit, based on those in power keeping those below them on their knees. They loved acting high and mighty, with their honor and their chivalry, but it was all a front.
Her dirty hands flopped at her knees. When the car went over a bump, a wad of phlegmy blood fell from her mouth onto her chest.
[…]
Light glanced off of the paint job. It was the sort of evening when the sunset burns. The glass towers of Shinjuku were tinted red, as if blood was streaming down the window panes.
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Chiseled blocks of fine white stone, stacked high in neat rows, topped off with accordion wire. Keeping people out. Or keeping something in.
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un roman extrem de vizual-detaliat, aproape ca pare scris cu o ecranizare in ganduri…
The Japanese capital’s new landmark, Sympathy Tower Tokyo, was built in order to enable sympathy and support for the unfortunate modern-day equivalents of Jean Valjean – and in a more concrete and proactive manner than mere words could ever achieve.
[…]
It’s all just as Sara Machina – the tower’s legendary architect – intended. She has done a very good job of making anyone who sets foot inside immediately question whether it wasn’t, in fact, the outside world that was the real prison.
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‘Max, if you want my opinion, there isn’t all that much difference between being understood and being misunderstood.
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‘Fucking text? The Takt I used to know never used that sort of language.’ ‘I picked it up from Max. His mannerisms are super infectious. The guy’s basically a walking pathogen.’
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A vision of the tower’s future. I see it now, in all its boundlessness – and yet really it’s the most ordinary future imaginable. You wouldn’t need to be an architect or a designer of enormous buildings to predict it. It is a future in which Tōkyō-to Dōjō-tō has crumbled to the ground. It might take mere minutes or a hundred years, but the tower will fall. Sooner or later, all buildings do. It is a precondition of their creation, just as death is a precondition of our birth.
She talked and talked and talked, as if convinced that she lived in a house made entirely out of words and everything about herself could be explained in language; as if, driven by an unwavering sense of purpose, she had rejected the very possibility of leaving words unspoken, instead devoting each day to waxing and polishing the gleaming surfaces of her linguistic abode.
[…]
It wasn’t a house of words she lived in: it was a prison. A windowless, poorly ventilated, unhygienic prison, where the guards monitored her every utterance.
In other words, if you have managed to live a ‘clean’ life so far, you owe that purely to the privilege of your own happiness.
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All life born into this world, regardless of its circumstances, is equally precious. I want to see a world in which everyone is allotted an equal share of moments in which they can say to themselves, in all honesty, that they are glad to have been born. That is my one real wish.
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Hadid was known in some circles as the Queen of the Unbuilt – of projects that for whatever reason never made it off the drawing board, buildings destined to remain purely in the realm of the conceptual. Hadid was blessed with extraordinary talents, but her designs were so revolutionary that sometimes it was as though reality itself did not have the capacity to accommodate them.
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Once, I looked up the etymology of the word ‘trash’ on my phone and learned that one of its original meanings was ‘fallen leaves’. Ever since, that’s what my father’s been to me. I find it funny to imagine the guy budding from a branch, rustling in the wind, turning red and falling to the ground.