*******
lost souls meet unde a full moon – mizuki tsujimura
*******
Only after the words had left his mouth did he wonder if the phrase when you were alive was an insensitive thing to say.
But Tsuru Hatada sighed happily. ‘It’s true. I never imagined that I would one day be summoned myself. My life wasn’t half-bad, was it, if people want to see me even after I’ve died? I’m feeling a bit smug about it, actually.’
‘Is it a nice feeling to have somebody request you?’
She looked into Ayumi’s eyes, and he wondered if he’d said something stupid. He started to take it back when she answered, ‘Yes. It’s a wonderful feeling.’
*******
‘When we were talking about Manami Hirase’s request. You said you didn’t think all dead people got closure just because they saw who they wanted to see.’
‘I did, yes.’
‘I think that goes for the living too.’
lost souls meet unde a full moon – mizuki tsujimura
*******
Seeing her meant that I would learn what my seven years had been about. If what the boy said was true, I would have no choice but to finally let her go. Kirari, who until today had been alive inside of me. After tonight, she would be dead.
*******
If she saw you, you would know she was dead. But she said yes. She said yes, even though she wants to live inside of you for ever, even though she wants you to never forget her. She knows that once you see her, you’ll forget about her and move on. But she agreed to the meeting because she heard that you waited for seven years. She wants you to close this chapter and move forward with your life.
habits of a happy brain – loretta graziano breuning
*******
Dopamine produces the joy of finding things that meet your needs—the “Eureka! I got it!” feeling.
Endorphin produces oblivion that masks pain—often called euphoria.
Oxytocin produces the feeling of being safe with others—now called bonding.
Serotonin produces the feeling of being respected by others—pride.
[…]
Dopamine: the joy of finding what you seek Endorphin: the oblivion that masks pain Oxytocin: the comfort of social alliances Serotonin: the security of social importance
*******
Why It’s Difficult to Break Old Habits
I learned about the quirkiness of habits from a hypnotist who helps people quit smoking.
He told me to imagine a fourteen-year-old boy at a party. The boy sees a girl he wants to talk to, but he’s afraid. He tries a cigarette to steady his nerves, and it works! The girl returns his affection, and his happy chemicals flow. The reward is huge because it’s so relevant to “reproductive success.” The neurochemical spurt creates a huge link to his mammal brain that says: Cigarettes promote survival. Of course, the boy doesn’t think this in words, but the next time he needs confidence in the face of a “survival challenge,” his brain lights up the idea of smoking. With each cigarette, the pathway builds. Years later, when he tries to quit smoking, the insecurity of the fourteen-year-old boy at a party surges up because it has nowhere to go without the cigarette pathway. His inner mammal feels like he’s threatening his own survival when he resists the urge for a smoke. He must build a new happy habit in order to live without the old one.
*******
Make a Commitment to One Pathway at First
With so many choices and so many neurons, you can build a lot of new pathways to your happy chemicals. But you only have a limited amount of time and energy. If you spread it everywhere, a new road may not get built. So choose one remodeling project to start with. Commit to repeating it for forty-five days whether or not you feel like it. If you miss a day, start over with Day One.
*******
FOCUS ON YOURSELF
You cannot make yourself responsible for other people’s suffering, and you cannot make other people responsible for your suffering. Other people get to manage their happy chemicals with the circuits they’ve got, and you get to manage your happy chemicals with the circuits you’ve got.
*******
CONSIDER THIS
When things do go wrong, ask yourself whether you could have prevented it by being unhappy.
*******
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
When your happy chemicals droop, it feels like something is wrong with the world. It helps to know that your happy chemicals are meant to go up and down so you can focus on your next step toward happy chemicals instead of on the flaws of the world.
*******
But I learned that I was not the captain of her ship. I could only be the captain of my own.
*******
pentru zilele cand sufletul sufera de vreo o raceala si am nevoie de remindere si [+]…
(mi-a placut tare mult “Your soul catches a cold.” din citatele anterioare, iar [+] va fi pentru lecturile in paralel, de mindfuleness, gratitude, psiho, ikigai, kaizen, si ce-oi mai gasi de bine si pozitiv)
lost souls meet unde a full moon – mizuki tsujimura
*******
‘I bring together the living and the departed,’ he said in a solemn voice, enunciating his words. ‘I am the go-between.’
[…]
‘Let’s stick to the facts. First, the go-between receives a request from a living person, someone like you. You tell me about the person in your life who has passed away. I take your request back with me and present it to the departed. I confirm whether they’re interested in seeing you as well. If they give their consent, I set up the meeting.’
*******
THERE’S A EUPHEMISM that goes: Your soul catches a cold.
*******
’People are designed to feel grief only over the death of someone they truly love.’
*******
’Anyway, I have a terrible memory and can never remember things I do for people, but I do remember the things people have done for me.’
my grandfather the master detective – masateru konoshi
Her grandfather had always told her that you could learn a lot about a person by looking at their bookshelves.
*******
There’s a particular subgenre of mysteries known as the “riddle story” which ends without any solution.’ For a moment, Kaede thought she caught Shiki glance her way. Riddle stories . . . A unique style that left the ending to the reader’s imagination. A challenge for authors, because if poorly constructed there was a danger of ending up leaving the reader hanging.
The Japanese idiom for that sense was ‘a cut-tailed dragonfly’.
I wonder whether that’s an actual species of dragonfly. I ought to google it later . . .
*******
planuiam sa termin cartea in zece zile. am terminat-o in trei, si ar fi fost doua, daca nu as fi pastrat ultimul capitol de savurat. insa cartile politiste imi absorb orice fel de auto-control; as fi putut anticipa.
a fost o cartulie care va persista pentru ca este prima pe care o intalnesc care abordeaza lewy body dementia, nici macar trecator, ci aprofundat – aproape stiintific. si, cumva, desi o carte de beletristica, detaliile curg calm, integrandu-se natural in poveste.
apoi este structura: fiecare caz abordeaza un gen de roman de mister: mistery of pure logic, locked room murder mistery, vanishing person, phantom person, riddle story…
apoi eruditia: de la lbd, la teoria ferestrei sparte si carti clasice politiste din literatura japo si nu numai – autori, titluri, personaje, mini-rezumate…
(nu mai zic ca asa m-as apuca de ellery queen si john dickson carr, insa stiu ca nu as mai avea viata)
astfel, chestii de gugalit:
Takeshi Setogawa
Waseda Mystery Club
Kemelman’s famous short story ‘The Nine Mile Walk’
Robert F. Young -The Dandelion Girl
The Monkey’s Paw – W. W. Jacobs
Frank R. Stockton – The Lady, or the Tiger
the o-hyakudo mairi ritual
my grandfather the master detective – masateru konoshi
Saturday morning, one week later, Iwata was running alone on the same riverside promenade.
It felt colder than last week, even though the weather forecast had predicted temperatures three degrees higher.
Could it feel colder because . . .
An embarrassing thought flitted through Iwata’s mind, one he was very reluctant to acknowledge. . . .
because Kaede isn’t with me?
*******
The Hasegawa Scale, officially known as the Revised Hasegawa Dementia Scale, is a cognitive function test devised for simple dementia screening. It starts out with questions about one’s birth date and current location, then tests memory by having subjects recall recently mentioned information or doing basic arithmetic. The maximum score is thirty, with anything below twenty suggesting possible dementia. For a Lewy Body Dementia patient such as Kaede’s grandfather, it wasn’t unusual to get astonishingly high scores. However, getting a perfect score repeatedly was truly remarkable.
*******
‘I feel bad, Kaede, but I really love it here in Himonya. I love the voices of the preschoolers, the sparrows that flit over from the bamboo grove in the park, and the cherry blossom petals that drift here on the breeze from the grounds of the shrine. I love this tiny garden always swarming with insects, and I love the lingering scent of my wife in the house, even though it gets fainter as the years pass. Perhaps that’s why she’s not in my hallucinations much any more, even though I long to see her. My only “son” – your father, who used to be my best drinking buddy – rarely shows up any more either. Still, there’s the cherry tree he planted for me in the garden, and the chest of drawers that my wife used; her sewing machine; her dresser that you use these days too, Kaede. I watch you sitting there at that mirror and I feel perfectly content.’
Every word was a punch in the heart. He’d never told her that he’d been hoping for visions of her grandmother and her father to appear.
my grandfather the master detective – masateru konoshi
‘To all of you graduating here today, it’s not an infinite future that awaits you. Everything is finite. Things come to an end. Youth is a weapon that will rust away before you know it. If you want to grab that future you’ve been dreaming of, then go have an adventure. That’s all. Thank you.’
*******
‘There was this famous Japanese actor who said right before he passed away, “Everything that’s happening right now is exactly as it should be.” I interpret this as meaning “every event is part of a story, and every story has a happy ending”. I’ve decided that in my own life I’m going to try to dive into as many of these stories with their happy endings as I can, no matter how shallow the water.’
The Kanshi Poems of Taigu Ryōkan Translated by Mei Hui Liu Huang & Larry Smith
On this cold night in my hut,
I worship Buddha with incense sticks.
Outside is a bamboo forest
Lying on my bed I open some books
The rising moon shins through my window.
Insects sing far and near my cottage.
How deep Zen is now.
I read it without words.
*******
If you think illusions, the world becomes an illusion.
If you think truth, the world becomes true.
If life is true, then there is no illusion.
If life is an illusion, then there is no truth.
Oh, followers of Buddha,
seeking the way of truth,
seek first the illusion and truth
in your own mind and heart.
*******
The Master’s finger points to the moon,
yet the finger is blind until the moon appears.
What connection has moon and finger?
Are they separate objects or bound?
This is a question for beginners wrapped in seas of ignorance.
Yet beyond such symbols we know there is no finger; there is no moon.
*******
Hōsai and Ryōkan happily talked poetry, philosophy, and writing until evening, at which point Ryokan rose to fetch them some sake from town. Again Hōsai waited several hours, then grew concerned and began to walk toward the village.
When he found his host a hundred yards away, sitting under a pine tree, he exclaimed, “Ryōkan! Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for hours and was afraid something had happened to you.”
Ryōkan looked up. “Hōsai, you have just come in time. Look, isn’t the moon splendid tonight?”
When Hōsai asked about the sake, Ryōkan replied, “Oh, yes, the sake. I forgot all about it,” and headed off to town.
*pe langa poemele-koan, o bucata din introducere: nu mi s-a intamplat niciodata sa ma distraga Luna, incat sa uit de mine si de realitate, – iar la momentul citirii, am descoparit ca tanjesc…
The Kanshi Poems of Taigu Ryōkan Translated by Mei Hui Liu Huang & Larry Smith
Another Poem for Mr. Suzuki Ryuzo -4
Snow and ice cover the mountain peaks,
all paths to the valley blocked to man.
Day after day I sit facing the clay wall,
listen to snowflakes brush my window.
Ryokan
The past I know is gone;
the present never lasts.
Time glides by without a trace.
Who can be wise in this constant flux?
I take each day as its own
sustaining myself until I’m released.
After so much wandering, I have arrived here—
twenty years seen through a cloud.
*”listen to snowflakes brush my window” – fulgii de zapada ce perie fereastra. eu i-am perceput mereu ca mici lovituri in geam. gentiletea practicii zen?!…
*prezentul care este un moment continuu, si si trecutul meu mereu incetosat.
The Kanshi Poems of Taigu Ryōkan Translated by Mei Hui Liu Huang & Larry Smith
Late Spring
Spring green is coming to an end.
Peach blossoms fall into the drifting river.
I seek a mind of stillness,
Yet my feelings rise and fall with each blossom.
Ryokan
The river floods at spring’s end.
Willow blossoms fall on my sleeve.
A whistle from a fishing boat breaks through fog.
Who can ease this sadness in my heart?
*triunghiul “blossoms fall” + “drifting river” vs “I seek a mind of stillness” vs “my feelings rise and fall” -> miscare/ liniste cautata/ miscare. Si fiind petale de prun, similare sakurei, “feelings rise and fall with each blossom” suna ca fluturasii din stomac pe care-i simt la randu-mi primavara, prin ploi de petale.
*”Who can ease this sadness in my heart?” – in vers care imi rupe inima…
The Kanshi Poems of Taigu Ryōkan Translated by Mei Hui Liu Huang & Larry Smith
Honoring the Tomb of Shi Yo
[…]
And then we parted
and lost our bond.
By the time I returned you had already joined the earth.
How can I face your soul?
I sprinkle your grave with both hands full of water.
to present some token of my respect. Suddenly the sun sets in the west.
The mountain meadows are filled with pines.
I have lingered so long here
my clothes are damp with tears.
imi propun sa citesc cu intentie. cu intentia de a gasi in fiecare zi cel putin cuvinte, o paradigma, o fraza – un citat de consemnat.
acum vreme, aveam un caiet cu citate; cumva, cu timpul, a devenit mai usor sa doar absorb pagini, sa exclam in mine si sa mai intorc o fila… poate sa le notez este un fel de a pastra impresii, amintirea, si de a rasplati, umil, scriitura…
cartea curenta e de poezii. le-am notat si in japo, in speranta naiva ca poate, cu timpul, voi reveni la ele si le voi putea deslusi in propria-mi intelegere.
*ce e poezia?
*minuni interconectate
*”the ballad of the bouncing ball”
*univers intr-un bulgare de nea
*singurate si speranta
*“Nothingness hangs everywhere like a bell.”
si raze de luna…
*****
The Kanshi Poems of Taigu Ryōkan Translated by Mei Hui Liu Huang & Larry Smith
A Tri-Lingual Edition English/ Chinese/ Japanese
Who says my poems are poems?
My poems are not poems.
When you can understand this,
Then we can begin to speak of poetry.
*******
No Mind
With no mind, flowers lure the butterfly;
With no mind, the butterfly visits the blossoms.
Yet when flowers bloom, the butterfly comes;
When the butterfly comes, the flowers bloom.
*******
Easygoing
My walking skirt is short, my holy gown long.
I go through life free yet disciplined.
Later children stop me in the street,
Clap and sing the ballad of the bouncing ball.
*******
Snow on the Shrine
This morning snow piled high on the shrine gate.
The trees on this sacred land shines with flowers.
Out in the cold a boy throws snowballs as if the world were only his.
宮門 新雪の朝
千樹 春の還るに似たり。
誰が家の少年子ぞ
等閒に狂顚を打す。
*******
Jottings
The rain stopped around midnight.
Morning light lays across my loneliness.
Beyond the door, the rain sings again.
A black cane hangs on the wall.
I have run out of fire wood,
yet who will help be heat my stove?
So many books piled on my bed,
and I, too lazy to read them now.
Tonight’s mood only I can understand
yet how will I describe it tomorrow?
*******
At Gogo-An
This hall is rather bare and cold.
Nothingness hangs everywhere like a bell.
Outside a thousand fir trees; tacked to the wall are several Zen poems
The pot is covered with dust.
The cooking ware is meant only for fish.
From time to time an old villager from the
east knocks at the door in the moonlight.
Impresie. Albastru inefabil... 