I felt suddenly lonely, in the anxious way that nostalgia always seemed to trigger.
*******
White petals were fluttering down onto me from the cherry trees in front of the station. It was depressing. What was the point in a season like spring that couldn’t make its mind up? Even when it was sunny, there was always that lingering chill in the air, like the weather was making fun of you.
*******
“Water boiling in an empty kitchen – is there anything so sad?”
“Sorry?”
“Don’t you think that’s nice?”
“What . . . is it?”
“A haiku. My niece won third prize for it in middle school.”
“Water boiling . . . wait, how did it go?” “Water boiling in an empty kitchen – is there anything so sad?”
“Right. Sort of . . . melancholy, isn’t it?”
That was what really made my face burn with shame. Because of me, an ambulance had come speeding down the peaceful market street, no doubt frightening all the people shopping. And then, to top it all off, I was just blithely snoring away. The agony of just imagining it was enough to make me faint.
[…]
Ah, what an idiot I was. Look what I put these kids through. I’m not the only one who knows the grief of losing someone. I’m surrounded by people who have been scarred by losing someone they hold dear. Now I’ve selfishly gone and made them worry about me, these kids who are much younger than I am—and more delicate.
*******
It might sound funny, but it felt like when I collapsed that day, the evil spirit that had been lurking inside me for so long finally left my body. It was as if I’d somehow peeled away the thick layer of skin wrapped around my heart. Now I felt like I’d been reborn. Was my body trying to teach me something after I pushed it to its limits for so long? That’s how it felt.
*******
But I think everyone’s secretly struggling. And we’re still struggling too, even now, but it’s only because we’re still alive that we’re able to go on struggling.” Utsui laughed lightly. “When you think about it, isn’t it wonderful to be alive?”
*******
* acesta sensibilitate innascuta de a nu deranja si respectul pentru “ceilalti”
* subiectul “burnout” intr-o societate faimoasa pentru efectele suprasolicitarii la locul de munca
* perspectiva inversata – zbuciumul existentei ca semn de traire.
I mean, it was weird. My mother shouldn’t be here. She died three years ago. After a brief battle against her disease for less than a year, she left me all alone. So then how could she be back in the apartment, looking every bit like she still lived there, ironing laundry like everything was perfectly normal?
*******
“I’m dreaming, right?” “You are.” “What the—” “Isn’t it nice, though, even if it is a dream?” Her voice sounded so carefree that it ended up making me relax too, somehow. All right, fine. I plopped down in front of my mother. We were both bathed in the reassuring light of a Bonnard painting.
*******
“A rose doesn’t bloom to be beautiful, it’s beautiful because it blooms with all its might.” It’s a line from a movie by the king of comedy, Charlie Chaplin.
“If you’re supposed to be a shade tree and watch over your old friend, who watches over you?”
*******
It’s because of coffee trees that shade trees can fulfill their role . . . That way, each one watches and is watched over by the other, don’t you think?
*******
I looked down at the shadows we cast on the asphalt.
The long one was mine.
The smaller one was hers.
Like two trees, growing side by side.
Do you know what a “shade tree” is? Despite what the name suggests, it’s not a species of tree at all. It’s what you call a tree that has a special role to play.
Coffee plants can’t stand direct sunlight. Even though they live in tropical areas in places like South America, they don’t grow well if they’re not in the shade. And, of course, if they don’t grow well, you’re never going to get good coffee beans from them. So if you go to any coffee plantation, you’ll find them planted alongside mostly banana and mango trees that grow quickly. That way they create an environment with the right amount of shade.
So basically a shade tree is a tree that’s there to protect the coffee plants.
*******
And around two weeks later, she actually did die. It’s amazing, no matter how young you are, or how cute, or how smart—or how loved you are—when it’s your time to die, it’s over. It’s not that complicated.
*******
It was like a light was suddenly shining down on me. Look out for Shizuku. No matter what happens. The owner of the café gave her the name Shizuku, which means “a drop,” because he wanted her to live a life as rich and flavorful as a drop of coffee. It seemed perfectly natural for Sumiré to ask me to be her shade tree then. I figured I could only play that role if I was with her all the time.
*******
What’s the point in someone like me who lives a super plain and ordinary life going to the trouble of watching a movie just to go through someone else’s plain, ordinary life? How am I supposed to relax peering into someone else’s existence? Why would I want to empathize with them? It sounds exhausting.
*******
“It’s the ordinary days of our lives that are the most precious.”
*******
mi-a placut cum s-a legat firul povestii intre metafore si citate, si mai ales faptul ca atunci cand le-am selectat pe parcursul lecturii, nu am stiut ca vor deveni un fel de continuitate din bucati de text…
As I listened to him, I thought about how each person has their own story they tell themselves about their lives. Mr. Numata’s was his and his alone. It was a story that I’d had no way of knowing, and one, I suppose, that I hadn’t needed to know. But he and I were connected by the place that had brought us together, the Torunka Café.
*******
“‘In life, reunions are the closest thing we get to miracles.’”
*******
Time had flown by, regardless of how I felt about it.
*******
“I feel the same way. There’s a powerful magic in Chopin’s music that seizes your heart and won’t let go. It has such tenderness to it. I can’t think of a composer who surpasses him in that regard.”
“You feel it in your heart . . . I know exactly what you mean.”
*******
din perspectiva cuiva care a avut pozele lui chopin, eminescu si byron pe usa, in adolescenta, am rezonat ceva cu acest capitol – “Chopin in the Afternoon”
When I was still a younger woman, I would come around once a week, but for the past seven or eight years, I’ve been coming every day. Anyway, all I have now is time. So much, in fact, that I wish I could share some of it with young people.
“Thank you. It was delicious.”
Today, as always, I drank my coffee down to the last drop and automatically mumbled the same expression of gratitude.
And with that, the moment I looked forward to most each day came to an end.
*******
The coffee here hasn’t changed at all from the way it was that day.
It’s delicious. And I feel grateful for that from the bottom of my heart. Anything that can make you smile like that is a precious commodity. There’s a bit of magic in the coffee the owner makes. Even now when I see him making a cup of coffee with that serious look on his face, I have to offer a quiet word of gratitude.
*******
reminder de recunostinta si gratitudine pentru ceea ce uneori consideram de la sine inteles si-i ignoram valoarea…
how to hold someone in your heart – mizuki tsujimura
*******
The sunlight flowing in through the window signalled that winter was nearly over; spring was around the corner. According to this morning’s reports, the cherry blossoms were expected to start blooming within the next week.
*******
‘It’s a gift to live in the world at the same time as the person you have in your heart,’ he said, sounding as though he were talking to himself. ‘We all kept Miss Ayako in our hearts, but we were never to live with her again.’ He turned to look at Ayumi. ‘You’re still very young. I hope that in your life, you will let your heart lead.’
*******
site-ul agentiei meteo japo care monitorizeaza ciresii si emite actualizari zilnice; imi amintesc ca citisem undeva ca etalonul il reprezinta un batran cires din kyoto, si gradele de imbobocire si inflorire detemina anuntarea inceptului anotimpului florilor de ciresi:
how to hold someone in your heart – mizuki tsujimura
*******
Any toy made from wood can technically be called a ‘wooden toy’, but the quality of a product depends on who made it and what feel they have infused into it.
[…]
Ayumi had learned in his two years at the company that with children’s toys, design took a back seat to safety.
*******
‘You knew just by looking what didn’t work. Talent is a cruel thing. Sometimes people have it and don’t know it, and other times, it’s just not there. I’ve been at this for a long time. Some things you can cover with practice and effort, but nothing can be done about talent. It’s a sensibility. And you have a sense for these things.’
*******
What could he do? This family doesn’t need the go-between. Some things can be understood without having to see and ask someone a question face-to-face. Sometimes, the things that people left behind spoke more eloquently than any number of words.
*******
mi-a placut universul jucariilor de lemn, si lucrul cu lemnul, insa mi-a placut si mai mult ideea ca, in cazul in care exista cititori care poate vor simti deznadejde si disperare, exista un capitol care ilustreaza ca uneori raspunsurile vin din sine si din ceea ce este lasat in urma, ci nu dintr-o intalnire cu persoana tanjita…
how to hold someone in your heart – mizuki tsujimura
*******
‘I want to thank my daughter. My opinions were not always correct, and my daughter helped to broaden my thinking.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I wish I’d been able to give her a stronger, healthier body, one that wouldn’t give out on her. If she didn’t have me for a mother, she might have had a more fulfilling life.’
*******
When they learned that they were unexpectedly pregnant, Misato and Shoichi had felt both joy and concern. Were they allowed to have another baby? Parents who had killed their little girl?
*******
doua povesti, doua pierderi, doua mame. aceeasi iubire.
how to hold someone in your heart – mizuki tsujimura
*******
‘Anyone who thinks about requesting a historical figure has either not thought it through, or they think it’s all fun and games. Nobody in their right mind actually wishes for something like this. I, however, am different.’
*******
‘Say they do meet with a historical figure,’ Samekawa continued. ‘Chances are, they’ll end up regretting it. First of all, these historical figures communicate in a different language from what we now use. It will be like speaking to someone from another country.’
*******
Ayumi vaguely remembered learning in a classical literature course about the waka technique of honkatari, in which a poet borrows a verse or two from a famous poem to give their own verse depth and background.
*******
‘Weren’t you … disappointed?’ The old man had been so eager to meet his hero. Surprisingly, he nodded. ‘Of course I was. Learning there was so little meaning behind his big decision. He wasn’t a hero after all, nor was he a poet. But isn’t that what history is all about? History is whatever people wish and choose to believe happened. To know that I am the only living human who knows the truth about Gakuman, however? Now that fills me with a different kind of emotion.’
*******
mi-a placut ideea de a intalni o figura istorica. eu oare pe cine as alege? boris vian? milorad pavic? marin sorescu?
ce l-as intreba? cum l-as convinge sa isi ofere singura sansa de a intalni pe cineva, mie? l-ar convinge?…
how to hold someone in your heart – mizuki tsujimura
*******
‘Hey, has anyone close to you died?’ a cast-mate had asked me after a few too many drinks, not expecting a serious response.
‘If you were given a chance to see that person again … would you want to?’
*******
Ever since I first heard about the go-between, I’d been thinking… This didn’t apply to me, of course, but maybe some people in the world did need for them to exist. That was why they’d continued for so long, wasn’t it?
Impresie. Albastru inefabil... 